Small things, Great Love

Back at mom's computer again, this time having just returned from my Grandpa George's memorial service. Beautiful, eccentric, and so grandpa george. People told stories of how they knew and loved him--as a simple dude, quick to smile, devoted to his family, church,...and his truck driving. I will always know him as the old guy who loved basking in the sun, eating spam and mayo on wonderbread, and also as the grump who growled at me if I was too whiny. To be honest, he didn't seem like a superhero to me, but at this memorial, the stories and love flowed, glowing of moments when his simple smile, firm handshake, and quick jokes warmed hearts and welcomed strangers into friendship.

I remember over and over the quote by Mother Theresa: "We can only do small things with great love." At the end of life, its not the big things that we remember (at least not for most of us) but the small, quirky stories where we felt loved and happy to be alive. Small things, like driving a bus full of kids to camp, or greeting people at church, go a long way to awaken people to the love that is all around. I'm thankful for his spam-loving, grumpy-smiling, pie-lovin' self.

Peace, Gramps.

3 weeks later, back "home" again

So, here I am--sitting again at my mother's computer where I wrote my last post several weeks ago. Last time it was on the brink of my newest adventure--moving to Cali. Now, I'm back unexpectedly to be with family as we mourn the loss and celebrate the life of my Grandpa George. He passed away and into freedom from Parkinsons and dementia on Sunday morning.

Life is a strange and beautiful thing.

The last 3 weeks in Marin (County, North part of the "Bay Area") have subtly pushed me to recognize that I'm on my own now. I have officially LEFT HOME. On top of that, the process of leaving has been made more dramatic by the fact that I'm about to move into another home with my life partner to start our own family unit. My psyche has been encouraged to do some major growing up at warp speed. And now, I'm back to the home of my youth, testing out my new grown up legs. They're a bit shaky and I'm not sure how to use them appropriately...maybe I'm like a bobbling toddler just learning to walk on her own. As confusing as it may be at times, I'm loving it. I feel totally blessed to be living in the Bay Area, enjoying a low key job (part time nannying) and anticipating marrying my one and only beloved.

And what about the fact that I'm in this new stage of life when my grandfather's last one just ended? Its a strange, ironic and beautiful combination. And I suppose that my grandpa has really just entered into the next stage of life. I'm reminded of "The Circle of Life" by Elton John on the Lion King Soundtrack (amazing! ask me about how I memorized the whole thing when I was 8...) Because certainly it is just a circle of life and death, and now my grandpas energy is floating around this place in some other form, infinitely blissful, and we've got a jammin' soundtrack of drums, and lions, and elephants to keep us dancing in time.

The Blog is Revived!

Here I find myself on another adventure. Last time it was Guatemala, El Salvador and Nicaragua (hard to believe that was over 2 years ago!), now its moving away from my childhood home in Michigan and to my new life in Northern California. Needless to say, I could use some opportunities to express all that I am and will be experiencing...and I will want to stay in touch with my beloved friends throughout the world. Thus, the blog is reborn!

I hope you enjoy the musings for whatever they are worth to you.

Departure Notes to California

Hello friends,

In less than 48 hours I will board a plane bound for San Francisco, CA. I'm in shock that the moment for moving has finally come. And like anything approached with eyes open and awake, it feels more like I will be jumping out of the plane rather than flying in it. I'm filled with excitement and hope for my new life with wonderful people (including wonderful Evans), beautiful places, and the interesting experience of figuring out who I am in a new culture. I'm also just darn nervous because, let's face it, life can be demanding. Somehow, it can seem less so when you have momentum on your side, but when you pull up your roots to transplant them elsewhere, it requires some extra convincing that its all going to be alright and beautiful.

So, what am I actually doing (for Myers Briggs people, thank you for indulging the F side of me, now on to the T. :) )...
I'll be living in San Rafael in the Northern Bay Area in a cute, funky house right outside the downtown San Rafael area. I'm situated within walking distance of the little town and two delicious grocery stores, and a 5 minute drive/15 minute bikeride from Evans. We're psyched about seeing each other everyday, practicing for marriage. :P With roommates, all women around my age, I'm thrilled about stepping into an already existing community of awesome people and making some new friends.

Job-wise I'm searching with a few leads and I'll let you know what I find out ultimately. With the wedding in May, I would be perfectly happy to take a nanny-ing job and search for a more long-term something later. More school, as always, is in the back of my mind and we'll see what comes to me in the midst of this move.

I'll miss my family greatly as I have loved living and laughing with them; but we're all okay with this move because its just so awesome. I feel incredibly blessed with great and loving people in my life, and exciting new experiences ahead...including preparing for marriage!

I write you all with this update because each one of you is greatly important to me in some way. I've enjoyed our time together, and now we're separated by space, but somehow I'm learning not to be sad about the distance between great friends. An artist-minister described how I feel beautifully...

"I think... that we come into the world with a scrap, a shred of some cosmic map in our grasp. It's lined onto the palms of our hands that emerged with us, fisted, from our mother's ocean. There are days when I believe that if we touch enough hands, place them side by side, we'll finally see the map." ~ Jan L. Richardson, Night Visions

I'm thankful to have the opportunity to touch more hands, just as we've touched each others. Tracing the lines of our palms for the first time, or just more deeply, we learn the map to find our way Home (which could be right here).

Thank you for being. And thank you for being a part of my life. May you recognize a piece of the map today and give thanks for it.